Ten Years of Forever

This is what we were up to ten years ago.

This is what we were up to ten years ago.

Today is Paul’s and my tenth wedding anniversary, and in honor of the occasion, I’m going to haul some adjectives out of their well-deserved slumber and put them to work trying to give even a hint of how I feel about Paul .

The usual adjectival suspects apply to him, of course: smart, kind, strong, funny, and handsome. But I will also conscript some adjectives that (to judge by the complaints of fellow-women) aren’t always as readily applied to the husbands of this world: Hardworking, resourceful, gentle, creative, innovative, thoughtful, well-read, selfless, tolerant, and generous. Also, since this is a special occasion, I’ll put a couple of well-worn but highly relevant metaphors to work: Paul is a port in every storm, a steady rock when waves of anger, sorrow, and self-loathing threaten to drown me.

I waited a long time to find Paul, and I’d fallen into the black pit of despair before he came to pull me out. His presence in my life was totally worth the wait, though. I float on seas of gratitude when I think of our first decade together, and I’m equally floaty when I anticipate what (I hope) will be our next few decades.

Tonight, as we were eating our anniversary pizza on the deck, Paul asked me if I’d thought we would make it this long when we first got married. I was a little startled by the question; OF COURSE I had. But it seemed strange to calculate our marriage in terms of years.

“I can barely remember life before you,” I told him. “It seems to me that we’ve been married forever. These aren’t years; this is eternity.”

I reconsidered my words, then added. “In the GOOD sense of eternity, I mean.”

I didn’t need to bother clarifying, though; Paul just chuckled and continued eating his pizza. He understood.

That’s why I love him.


  1. First of all, WOW, and congratulations! Your moment of unexpected beauty is aptly named: “Ten Years of Forever.” I love the title’s oxymoronic quality and all the adjectives and metaphors that follow. You and Paul are rich indeed in all the ways that count.

    1. I’m glad you approve of my adjectives! The Muse wasn’t quite descending in my quest to express my feelings for Paul, so I ended up going the English teacher route. You’re right about the rich-in-all-ways-that-count aspect; I wouldn’t trade him for all the money in the world. Thanks for your feedback as well as for YOUR posts!

      Date: Fri, 4 Jul 2014 02:23:48 +0000 To: reharris68@hotmail.com

  2. Congrats, Rebecca! I think the most important adjective on that list is selfless. If you can find a life partner guilty of that one, he’s a keeper!

  3. Well said, my friend–so far, my experience is confirming your assessment!

  4. My marriage is much older than yours but I feel much the same. My husband saved me from a previous, very bad, marriage and a very difficult life. I used to think of him as my umbrella.

    1. I’m glad that you were able to endure through all those tribulations and finally find a soul-mate despite the ordeal. That’s a strong lesson, and one that I’m trying to keep in my mind: even when pain and sorrow seem overwhelming and never-ending, things do get better. (It’s a cliche because it’s true, so I stand by my use of it.) It’s not always easy to maintain perspective, but I’m trying!

  5. Kathryn · · Reply

    Congratulations to you both!

    1. Thank you!

      Date: Sun, 6 Jul 2014 03:03:46 +0000 To: reharris68@hotmail.com

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